Is mindfulness at work possible? Or is it just a trendy phase? My friend and mindfulness speaker Harriet Stein joins me to share why the practice of mindfulness isn’t just a woo-woo nice to have anymore.
Harriet’s a former nurse-turned-professional speaker and teacher, working with companies all over to use mindfulness at work to
- reduce stress,
- increase performance and productivity,
- lower healthcare costs, and
- boost morale.
Her latest book is Perfect Attendance: Being Present for Life, and we chatted about mindfulness’ impact on our workplaces, our health, and our ability to show up for the things we value most.
Plus, BONUS! Harriets walks me (and you!) through a two-minute mindfulness exercise (starts about 14:22) we can do anywhere to reset and reboot our day.
(24 min,
Listen to the audio of our interview here.
Find out more about my guest at HarrietStein.com.
Get the book, Perfect Attendance: Being Present for Life, here.
Want 31 Days of Mindfulness with Harriet? Start her video series here.
Transcript:
(We’ve lightly edited for readability, but most of this transcript is automated. Apologies for grammatical or human errors.)
Darcy Eikenberg:
Hello, Red Cape Revolution family. I am so excited today to bring you an author, professional speaker. And I think the topic we’re going to talk about today is one that a lot of us have thought about, but maybe not a lot of us are putting into action. And that is mindfulness at work. And so this is Harriet:, and her new book is called Perfect Attendance: Being Present for Life. So Harriet, welcome to Red Cape Revolution. I’m glad you’re here today.
Harriet Stein:
Thank you so much, Darcy. I’m, I’m grateful to be invited. And it’s wonderful to be able to virtually meet all your listeners.
Darcy:
So mindfulness, like that word in itself, is kind of a minefield. So tell me a little bit about when you’re teaching or speaking on mindfulness at work. What really does that mean, especially for people in the Red Cape Revolution community who are often thinking about their workplaces and their careers and their leadership and their teams? What is mindfulness at work?
Harriet:
Excellent question. And when I say that I did something literally 15 minutes ago, I’m not even making this up. But I just read 15 minutes ago, that two-thirds of all jobs by 2030 are going to demand soft skills. Two-thirds, and I thought, How fascinating. Maybe this is why they have rebranded the term soft skills. And now they call them power skills.
Darcy:
Oh, I like that so much better. I hate the word soft skills!
Harriet:
Well, they are power skills, right? Because communication, emotional intelligence, and your ability at work to be flexible, and adaptable. These are all power skills hit these are not in any way soft. If you are a leader, or if you are a team member. It is incredibly important and valuable for everyday, workplace situations.
Darcy:
So how does mindfulness then fit into these power tools or power skills? So how does the act of mindfulness fit there?
Harriet:
Right? Well, you know, all through my book, I put in specific examples called place a pause. And I’m giving you an example of what this looks like.
Maybe your manager asked you to take on a new project. At that moment, I’m going to ask you to place a pause, not for 15 minutes, not for an hour, a moment, a moment. And then notice, if you were going to respond or react, there is quite a big difference.
And we know what it’s like to sometimes make the wrong choice. Because we all know what it’s like to hit send on an email or a text or say something to maybe a manager or someone who’s reporting to us, and a second later, we’re thinking, “Why did I do that? I can’t take it back.”
So the way to really start using these power skills is to start placing a pause so that it now gives you this opportunity. And you get to choose, you know, to choose whether you want to respond or react.
Darcy:
You know, in the work that I do I talk a lot about taking back control. Sometimes if we’ve given it to somebody else, or some, you know, some something else. But taking back control– there’s only three things that you ever control your thoughts, what you say, and what you do. But I’ve had people criticize me and say, Well, you can’t control your thoughts. But what you’re kind of talking about with that pause is the moment to consider your thought. Can you tell us a little bit more about like how that works in the brain? How does that work? Like, why don’t we just do that naturally?
Harriet:
So first of all, those people who come after you and say those things, I want to meet them feel free to reach out to me. I think the reason why you are such an effective coach is because you focus on clarity and building confidence and courage when you want to get people unstuck. The very first thing people need to do is to bring self-awareness to the situation. So we can’t control anything except ourselves. That’s the only thing in this entire world we can control as much as we would love to control a lot of other things here. There truly is nothing else we can control in this world other than ourselves. So mindfulness, all it is, is paying attention moment by moment with non-judgment of our thoughts.
Darcy:
So, the non-judgment piece is really interesting, right? Because the little lizard brain that that primitive part of our brain that just keeps nagging at us. And I know that you know, a lot of folks that I have the fortune good fortune to work with, we’ll bet judges voice is really loud, and it can really pull us down. So think I would love for you to tell us a little bit more about some things that we can do to overcome that, to talk back to that. And I think you said, paying attention to your thoughts, not just, you know, saying mantras or magic words or something.
Harriet:
Now, we don’t have to change anything. We don’t have to change anything about ourselves. For others, we’re just noticing. And this is a practice of compassion. So at two o’clock in the morning, if you find yourself unable to sleep, I always like to say, if you get out your phone, I will appear like Glinda the Good Witch in your home, ripping the phone out of your hands, because that is never an effective way to get back to sleep.
But it’s it’s just really important to notice our thoughts: are we thinking about a past we can change or worrying about a future that hasn’t yet happened? And has worrying ever helped us? I mean, where is it most valuable to place our attention? In the past, we can’t change, in a future that hasn’t happened, or during the only moment that actually exists, which is this one right now, this one that we are having?
For more resources, see Darcy’s article “How to Talk Back To Yourself In the Middle of the Night.”
Darcy:
And that’s one of the things that I love about the title of your book: Perfect Attendance. It is back to attending to what is, you know, what is the moment that are having right now. And I know this is lifelong work that I’ve had to do, I’m sure I’m not alone, but just in not future cycling, right? You know, thinking about everything.
And so many times I think, also as women, we’ve been called excellent multitaskers. But it’s, I’m having this conversation now. But if I’m planning dinner, or what I have to do tomorrow, or the three other things that are going to happen today, staying present is a challenge, and staying present at work when there are so many different things coming at you. How can we apply this to really super busy lives are busy workplaces, where we also we don’t want to miss anything, and we don’t want to slow down and kind of miss the good things that are happening?
Harriet:
Right? I think well, that’s a that’s an excellent summary of what everybody is dealing with everywhere. And yet, we look at social media. And I think subconsciously, we think everybody else has it together. And we are the only ones that are tired or exhausted or overwhelmed or, you know, the weekends coming up. And we think that’s only another opportunity to do another 50 things. It’s we don’t even build in periods of rest during the weekends like we used to. There’s no end to the day, right? I mean, that’s why I jokingly say I will take that phone out of your hand at 2 am to test that out area.
Darcy:
And I look here and like hey, like Glinda, the good witch.
Harriet:
Well, the people at Stanford did that research over a decade ago that said that we cannot multitask it is it is not something that we can do. And people think that I mean, even if you’re folding your laundry and watching TV, at some point, you’re going to look down and you’re going to miss what’s on television. So if if you want to be effective, the way to be most effective is to focus on one thing at a time. And people say, Well, I have a to-do list, I have a lot of things I have to plan. And we all have, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now talking with you, if I wasn’t planning, but it’s noticing if in your mind, you’re going through a constant to-do list. This is why you are so effective working with your clients because you know you work with them to say make a list, write it down. It does not help you to be able to get your work done. If you’re trying to do 10 things at the same time. It’s just not effective.
Darcy:
And one of the things that I think is always interesting in your perspective on this is that you come from a nursing background Though you are a medical professional, and we’re recording this in mental health month, and we certainly have seen in the past several years, all the noise that, you know, I worry about how it’s invaded our brains, it’s not just the noise on our little box of chips that we pick up at two in the morning. But just all of the worries and the fears of the world.
So, you know, I know that there are people who are listening to this, who will say, “well, that sounds nice, I want to be, you know, in perfect attendance to my life. And that’s just not realistic.” What are the little baby steps, the wind, that also back to you know, your background as a nurse that actually isn’t just, you know, being all Zen and perfect, but that actually help our health, right?
Harriet:
So first of all, at 50 million people in the United States have at least one autoimmune disease 50 million, and the majority of them–75%–are women. So I heard that statistic and was very concerned. So this is a practice, when you decrease your stress, you don’t just increase your productivity, you get healthier, right, because this lowers your blood pressure. And it affects your cortisol levels.
I mean, it is, if you’re constantly on the go in your mind, wearing or beating yourself up about something you did or didn’t do. You might not be listening to your body, but your body is listening to you. Your body, here’s what you’re saying to yourself in your head. You know, before you even get out of bed in the morning, when you’re thinking, Oh, I feel great. And I look great. And I can’t wait to start the day. Because that’s how we all begin our day, right?
So it is incredibly important, there are so many little things you can do. One of the simplest is like washing your hands, this is something they did research on this actually. When you wash your hands mindfully. that is using all of your senses. So that when you notice your mind is wandering, you bring your attention right back to what it feels like to be washing your hands. So maybe you notice the feel of the soap in your hands, you notice the smell, you noticed the temperature of the water, not judging it as oh, my hands look old, or, you know the waters too hot or not judging it one way or the other, just noticing what it feels like to be washing your hands, when there are about a billion people on this planet that don’t have access to clean, safe water. So it’s a wonderful opportunity, every time we touch water to practice gratitude, and bring that into our lives, which also is going to make us healthier.
Darcy:
The connection between the mind and the body is so fascinating, you know, when you think about all of the all the issues that we’ve had in the recent past with COVID and diseases and just that statistic about autoimmune diseases and stress, you know, stress-related stress connected diseases, and we think about burnout. And I know like I’ve had, we’ve had clients, and we’ve done some videos with folks who have just finally realized they needed to drop some balls, –not necessarily like throw everything out and say, “Oh, I’m gonna quit my job and become a monk.”
But to basically say that we can’t do all the things that are in front of us that the human body, the system isn’t equipped for that. We’re not a computer, we can’t just, put a new chip in. So I love the idea that mindfulness is a practice that again, we get to control, right, I get to do it. And it doesn’t take a lot of time. I mean, how many times a day do I wash my hands? So I’m going to try that.
I know that in the book, you have a little place to pause sections all through. And I thought it might be interesting if we just had a little pause right now in our conversation, and maybe you could lead us through just a short one-minute exercise and things that we could do in our busy work day because I think it’s nice, it’s lovely when companies hire you to come in and do workshops. I mean, obviously, there’s a connection now to help If and productivity and retention, all the things that, you know, we want in our workplaces, but you know, as like an individual, like, show us a little something that we could try that we control, no matter where we are, who we are what we’re doing.
Harriet:
Definitely. So the very first thing is, in case anybody was listening to this in their car, make sure you pull to the side. But if you are watching this, you know, the very first thing I’m going to invite you to do is to just bring your attention to what it feels like to be sitting. And, you know, if you want to close your eyes, you can, it’s, it’s up to you, if it feels comfortable, if you if you don’t like to close your eyes, you can put your gaze and just keep it soft and downward. And you’ll be able to hear my voice. And just noticing where your body is making contact with whatever you are sitting on right now. So noticing the weight of your body evenly distributed on this solid base. Maybe noticing the sensation of your feet on the floor and then just checking in with places that you might be holding, where you do not need to be holding. So checking in around your mouth and jaw. And if you’re gripping in any way, they’re just relaxing that area around your jaw. Sometimes we squint when we don’t need to so maybe softening around the eyes. If your shoulders are up around your ears, just relaxing them down to a neutral position. And just getting that sense, even in just a few seconds here that you are actually being held in place by gravity, something we rarely consider. And just getting that sense of what it feels like to be held with no place to go and nothing to do just for these next few moments. And now, if it feels comfortable for you, just opening your eyes, and just noticing how it feels in your body.
Darcy:
That’s amazing. And that in that little bit of time. I know for me, so I did it along with hopefully those you listening took that little break too. And I noticed how tight I was holding my hands together. And my feet I’m sort of perched on the edge of my chair as we record this and like how much tension there was in like in my feet trying to hold forward. And how much I want a glass and I need like the thanks for this water. I didn’t need more water. No,
Harriet:
I was gonna say this is really good. Because it gives you an opportunity to what I just said, like what I said, we are listening to our bodies, our bodies are listening to us, but we’re not listening to our bodies and hear your body’s like, can I just have some water? You know, can I just like Hello, can I just have some water, but we don’t pay attention and we just keep pushing through when our bodies want some rest, whether it’s mental or physical or both?
Darcy:
What I love about this too, and I work with a lot of leaders and they have very busy and complicated teams, and also today often those teams are dispersed right? They’re not all in a room together. They might be all over the world. But that investing in doing just that little I didn’t time it I think you probably were but it probably was around a minute right you know, little exercise, just giving everybody permission to chill to take attendance, if you will, like where am I today? And that is something that I know. I probably need to do more with my teams with the clients that I work with. We create different spaces to do that. But it’s there is something in that silence and permission that I think is very powerful. And I hadn’t really made the connection I think I knew known intuitively, there is some health benefit, but back to, I mean, that was free to write. So, yeah, so So here for what’s one thing than that, you know, busy group people maybe who aren’t used to being very compassionate with themselves, myself in that place people above everybody else on social media actually has it together. That’s a reminder, what’s one practice step action that they can put into place right now, that kind of helps them start on this more path to, to more mindfulness to being attended, if the will to their their life and you know, at their life at work their life at home.
Harriet:
You know, there is I read this wonderful little quote, once this person had that said: the person who wins is the one the person who dies with the most memories wins. A person who dies with the most memories wins, not the person who has the most money, or the most whatever that we normally judge things are but memories, when we place a pause during our day.
And we can even set a little appointment, whether our calendars or with our watch, to just immediately begin checking in with ourselves. Even before your next meeting, whether it is with your child’s teacher, or whether it is with your manager, or whether it’s with your team, checking in with yourself first and noticing where are you? Are you in the current moment? And the carrot meeting? Or are you still in the one that was an hour ago? Are you thinking of the one that’s in a week. So these are things that you can immediately big bring into your life. And if you’re running the meeting, why not encourage everybody to just pause just for 30 seconds, check in is everybody present. Everybody in their body, noticing if there’s any travel energy, noticing what their thoughts are. And then you know, moving on with the meeting it when you teach this program to children, sometimes you use a bottle with little sparkles in it. And you say you shake it up, and you say all those little glitter items are your thoughts. And the moment that you put the bottle down, it immediately settles. And that’s what you just experienced.
When we just did a little two-minute sitting meditation. The moment you pause in your day, and really, truly bring your attention to what it feels like to be sitting. Your body immediately settles your thoughts immediately settle. And that is what you do. When you bring clarity to the people you coach with you immediately allow them to focus on what they want to accomplish.
Darcy:
Well, I might steal that idea with the bottle with the sprinkles because I think there’s probably plenty of times during the day when I should like shake those sprinkles up and then wait till that’s pause. So to be able to get back to focus and back to center so many way. Harriett Stein, speaker, nurse, teacher, author of the book, perfect attendance, go check it out anywhere online books are sold. I’ve been honored to write a review on Amazon for it. And again, you can find it there. All right, where else should people look for you if they want to learn more about bringing you to their company or having you you know, be there be their teacher in the journey of mindfulness? Yes.
Harriet:
One of the things I don’t do is coach, so I do everything but so whether they have a program or retreat or workshop, it’s easy to get a hold of me. My website is actually HarriettStein.com. So they can easily find me I always say so much of the information is on the internet nowadays. Just call me before you show up at my house.
Darcy:
Okay, so don’t just show up at her house. So just about find her at HarriettStein.com. We’ll have the links in the show notes for this conversation. Harriet, thank you so much for taking the time to spend with me and the folks at Red Cape Revolution today. I really appreciate it.
Harriet:
Thank you so very much. And I’m incredibly impressed that we kept it to under three hours. So thank you.
Darcy:
Thank you. I’m waiting for you to tonight when I look at my phone and two in the morning and I’m waiting for you to appear like Glinda the Good Witch.
Harriet:
I’ll be there.
Darcy:
Thanks so much. Have a great day.
