Once upon a time, the phrase “introverted leader” felt like a contradiction. But not anymore.
In this conversation, I’m joined by my friend and colleague Jennifer Kahnweiler, PhD., whose deeply researched and practical book, The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strengths, has helped reshape how we think about leadership no matter what your personal style is. The popular speaker just released her third edition of the book, with all new content covering issues like hybrid and remote work, and screen-based communication.
Whether you’re an introvert ready to lead on your own terms—or an extrovert looking to better support the introverts around you—there’s something powerful here for you.
Let’s dive in.
Get all-new third edition of The Introverted Leader here.
Find out more about Jennifer Kahnweiler here.
Listen to the Introvert Ally podcast here.
Get Coach Darcy’s book, “Red Cape Rescue: Save Your Career Without Leaving Your Job” here.
Transcript
(AI generated, so apologies in advance for bot errors)
Darcy Eikenberg, PCC:
Hello, hello, Red Cape Revolution! It’s Darcy here, and I am so happy to have time today with my friend, longtime colleague, and author of The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength, Dr. Jennifer Kahnweiler. Hi, Jennifer!
Jennifer Kahnweiler:
Hey, Darcy—always so wonderful to see you.
Darcy:
The doctor is in! We were just recalling before we hit record that we met a long time ago in Atlanta at a coaches’ meeting. The first version of your book—which was quite different than this newest version—had just come out, and I remember thinking, “Somebody’s writing about introverts? How interesting!” That was way before Susan Cain’s Quiet and before introversion had its moment in the mainstream.
I’d love to hear your journey to this topic—because it’s been, what, over ten years now? Maybe more. Tell us what brought you to it originally, and what’s changed with this third edition, especially in the new world of hybrid and remote work—because that’s changed the dynamic for introverts and extroverts alike.
Jennifer:
Wow—some great questions to unpack there, Darcy. And first, let me just say how much I love being part of your interviews. It’s always a great excuse for us to reconnect. I also want to say how much I admire the work you do—you’re my role model for staying connected with your community.
To your question—my first edition of The Introverted Leader came out in 2009. The original cover featured a Superman-like figure with a giant “I” for introvert. That made sense back then, but things have evolved. I love our new cover—it represents inner strength. It doesn’t have to be the loudest voice in the room to be powerful.
I’ll also say up front: I’m an extrovert. Married to an introvert. My husband Bill and I met in our twenties. What first attracted me to him was his quiet, calm presence—it was such a contrast to my loud, extroverted New York upbringing. Over time, what I initially loved sometimes became a source of frustration because I didn’t understand why he needed so much time alone after being with people. He’d shut down, and I had no idea why.
That all changed when I was introduced to the Myers-Briggs framework. It helped me realize that Bill wasn’t trying to frustrate me—he just processed the world differently. That insight changed our dynamic, and it carried over into my work with leaders.
Fast forward—I moved into leadership development and coaching roles inside large organizations like GE. No matter the audience, when I introduced the concept of introversion and extroversion, it hit a nerve. Particularly for introverts, it gave them language for why they felt overlooked, talked over, or left behind—despite working hard and delivering results. It was powerful.
That’s why I wrote the book—because I couldn’t find the resource I needed for my clients. And it hit a nerve.
Darcy:
And even now, some people still think “introverted leader” is an oxymoron, right? We still have that old-school model of the hard-charging, charismatic front-person. But your work, especially in the new edition and your podcast, highlights how many leaders are successfully leading from within. They’re not changing who they are—but they’re adapting how they show up, how they ask for what they need, and how they make the work work better.
Jennifer:
Exactly. And one of the major shifts I’ve seen—especially since COVID—is that many senior leaders are finally talking about this. Before the pandemic, it was hard to get execs to engage on the topic. But when they were home, they were more open. We heard from CFOs and CEOs about how they struggled as introverts to navigate leadership roles.
What’s important is they weren’t trying to become extroverts. They were modeling strong leadership in their own way—being reflective, being intentional, and yes, being vulnerable.
Let me share a great story—Pat Wadors, a senior HR executive, actually includes “Introverted Leader” in her bio. She had a team of extroverts who weren’t connecting with her, and she didn’t understand why. When she finally asked for feedback, she learned they found her inaccessible. She was eating lunch alone, not realizing how that was being interpreted. So she started opening up, sharing what was going on in her life, including having a new baby. That shift changed everything—because it created connection.
Darcy:
I love that story. And I often use a tool with teams I coach called the “User Guide to Me”—basically, it’s your personal instruction manual: Here’s what ticks me off. Here’s how I communicate. Here’s what’s going on behind the scenes. It invites vulnerability—but not in a way that’s “TMI”—just clarity.
And your point earlier: it’s not about trying to be someone you’re not. It’s about giving others a clear map of how to work best with you.
Jennifer:
Totally. That awareness makes such a difference in how meetings are run, how teams are structured, and how we design spaces. In the new edition, I talk about creating introvert-friendly workplaces—spaces that allow for both collaboration and solitude. It’s especially relevant now that people are returning to offices—but not always for the reasons we expect. Some people go back to the office to focus, because home is too chaotic!
Darcy:
Right! And ironically, even the commute—which used to be the worst—has become a quiet space for some people.
Jennifer:
Exactly. It’s nuanced. And that brings up your question about remote work. Yes, many introverts still prefer working from home. There are real advantages: fewer interruptions, more control over your time, better focus. But there are also risks: disconnection, isolation, and fewer spontaneous opportunities to connect.
That’s why hybrid models rate high—they give flexibility but also occasional structure for connection.
Darcy:
I’ve definitely seen that. Some clients tell me they don’t want to go back, but when they do, they’re glad they did. It’s like exercise—you don’t want to do it, but afterward you feel better. That brings me to your framework. You outline a formula in the book—the Four Ps. Can you walk us through that?
Jennifer:
Absolutely. The Four Ps came from interviewing successful introverted leaders. They told me what worked for them—and this framework emerged organically.
- Prepare – Introverts thrive when they prepare. They think things through. That’s a strength.
- Presence – Once they’ve prepared, they commit to being fully present. They’re not looking back or overthinking. They show up and focus.
- Push – This is the gentle stretch. Not a leap out of the comfort zone, but a nudge. Maybe it’s starting one new conversation, raising your hand in a meeting, or trying something new.
- Practice – Like a muscle, these skills get stronger with repetition. I love Jerry Seinfeld’s metaphor: your creative muscles shrivel if you don’t use them. That’s true here, too.
What’s amazing is that many introverts, after practicing these steps, are told, “You don’t seem like an introvert.” That’s not because they’ve become extroverts—it’s because they’ve learned how to lead in their own way.
Darcy:
Exactly. And it’s something coaches and leaders can use with their teams. Where are you strong? Where do you want to grow? You don’t have to do all four at once.
So, as we wrap up—what’s one takeaway for the introverts listening, and one for the extroverts?
Jennifer:
For introverts: Own your strengths. Step into them fully. You bring value, and the world needs what you offer.
For extroverts: Be an ally. Speak up for those who haven’t found their voice yet. Your advocacy can make a huge difference.
Darcy:
Beautiful. And a great reminder that your podcast is Introvert Ally—and there’s a LinkedIn newsletter by the same name. Plus, you’re offering a free resource, the Quiet Journal.
Jennifer:
Yes! The Quiet Journal is a free download on my website. It’s full of reflection prompts to help you get clarity on how you work best. I’ll share the link for the show notes.
Darcy:
Perfect. So everyone, pick up the new edition of The Introverted Leader. Updated for today’s hybrid workplace, it’s packed with stories, tools, and strategies. Jennifer, thank you for your time and your wisdom—and for all the difference you make in the world.
Jennifer:
Thank you, Darcy—and thank you for being an introvert ally.